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She's bright, bold, and absolutely not here for your nonsense.\u003c\/strong\u003e","brand":"Snark Roast Coffee","offers":[{"title":"Espresso \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44451175399477,"sku":"BLOND-FINE-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44451175497781,"sku":"BLOND-WHOLE-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Espresso \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44471259693109,"sku":"BLOND-FINE-5LB-WHITE","price":89.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44471259725877,"sku":"BLOND-WHOLE-5LB-WHITE","price":89.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/7005\/7781\/files\/1_8edbf576-de52-4d5f-9317-bc9babb85825.png?v=1746324441"},{"product_id":"ssss","title":"Sticky, Sweet, and Slightly Savage","description":"\u003cstrong\u003eSticky, sweet, and slightly savage—your new morning personality. This brew serves all the gooey cinnamon roll flavor without the calories or the kitchen disaster. Warm, comforting, and just passive-aggressive enough to get you through another day of small talk and side-eyes. Go ahead, sip like you mean it.\u003c\/strong\u003e","brand":"Snark Roast Coffee","offers":[{"title":"Ground \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44471259758645,"sku":"CINN-DRIP-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44471259791413,"sku":"CINN-WHOLE-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44471259824181,"sku":"CINN-DRIP-5LB-WHITE","price":89.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44471259856949,"sku":"CINN-WHOLE-5LB-WHITE","price":89.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/7005\/7781\/files\/4_f115dfe7-7514-43d3-ae80-d30cb8c5c131.png?v=1746324442"},{"product_id":"turtley-unstable","title":"Turtley Unstable","description":"\u003cstrong\u003eSweet on the outside, cracked inside—just like you before caffeine. Turtley Unstable tastes like the classic Turtle dessert, minus the guilt and emotional spirals. Rich caramel, chocolate, and nutty notes come together in a dangerously comforting brew you can totally justify drinking before 9 a.m. Dessert? No. This is survival.\u003c\/strong\u003e","brand":"Snark Roast Coffee","offers":[{"title":"Ground \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44471259889717,"sku":"TURT-DRIP-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44471259922485,"sku":"TURT-WHOLE-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44471259955253,"sku":"TURT-DRIP-5LB-WHITE","price":89.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44471259988021,"sku":"TURT-WHOLE-5LB-WHITE","price":89.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/7005\/7781\/files\/6_d10fb704-ae8a-469d-ad18-2b3ac3a70f1d.png?v=1746324442"},{"product_id":"wtf","title":"Whiskey Tango Foxtrot","description":"\u003cstrong\u003eCode for “What the actual f*ck?” A little bold, a little boozy, and fully prepared to ruin your tolerance for weak coffee. This Guatemalan roast is aged for 30 days in a legit whiskey barrel, then roasted to a smooth medium finish—because basic blends just don’t cut it anymore. It’s dark, delicious, and one sip away from your next questionable decision.\u003c\/strong\u003e","brand":"Snark Roast Coffee","offers":[{"title":"Ground \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44471260020789,"sku":"WBAR-DRIP-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44471260053557,"sku":"WBAR-WHOLE-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44471260086325,"sku":"WBAR-DRIP-5LB-WHITE","price":94.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44471260119093,"sku":"WBAR-WHOLE-5LB-WHITE","price":94.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/7005\/7781\/files\/3_f4d29914-cd21-4726-9903-436bc26ec99e.png?v=1746324442"},{"product_id":"zero-chill","title":"Zero Chill","description":"\u003cstrong\u003eZero Chill—and proud of it. This cold brew doesn't come to comfort, it comes to conquer. With smooth chocolate, toffee, and subtle floral tones, it’s dangerously bold with absolutely no emotional support included. Sip like you’ve got a grudge and a deadline—because this brew doesn’t believe in second chances or second sleep cycles.\u003c\/strong\u003e","brand":"Snark Roast Coffee","offers":[{"title":"Ground \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44471260151861,"sku":"COLD-CRSE-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44471260184629,"sku":"COLD-WHOLE-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44471260217397,"sku":"COLD-CRSE-5LB-WHITE","price":89.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44471260250165,"sku":"COLD-WHOLE-5LB-WHITE","price":89.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/7005\/7781\/files\/5_f4d34ec6-c39a-4560-bfb8-efae240760c5.png?v=1746324441"},{"product_id":"brewtal-intentions","title":"Brewtal Intentions","description":"\u003cstrong\u003eBrewtal Intentions is your dark house espresso blend for when “mild” isn’t even on the table. Made from a meticulous mix of beans from around the world, this roast is rich, intense, and so bold it might file your taxes out of spite. Great as a straight-up espresso or your go-to dark blend, it doesn’t just wake you up—it evaluates your life choices while doing it. Sip with caution… or confidence. Your call.\u003c\/strong\u003e","brand":"Snark Roast Coffee","offers":[{"title":"Espresso \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44471260282933,"sku":"6BEAN-FINE-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44456481620021,"sku":"6BEAN-WHOLE-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Espresso \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44471260315701,"sku":"6BEAN-FINE-5LB-WHITE","price":89.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44471260348469,"sku":"6BEAN-WHOLE-5LB-WHITE","price":89.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/7005\/7781\/files\/2_1d9a7863-4844-4886-ba99-cc93cb4420b0.png?v=1746324459"},{"product_id":"here-for-the-plot-twist","title":"Here for the Plot Twist","description":"\u003cstrong\u003eJust when you thought you had your order down, Here for the Plot Twist arrives like a caffeinated curveball. This limited-edition roast changes regularly, and we’re never going to give you advance warning. Why? Because that’s the drama.\nEvery version delivers bold, complex flavor and main character energy—minus the stability. Try it while it lasts, but don’t get too attached. This one ghosted us once and we’re still not over it.\u003c\/strong\u003e","brand":"Snark Roast Coffee","offers":[{"title":"Ground \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44516966334517,"sku":"MONTH-DRIP-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44516966367285,"sku":"MONTH-WHOLE-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44516966400053,"sku":"MONTH-DRIP-5LB-WHITE","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44516966432821,"sku":"MONTH-WHOLE-5LB-WHITE","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}]},{"product_id":"nutcase-in-disguise","title":"Nutcase in Disguise","description":"\u003cstrong\u003eSweet. Cozy. Slightly deranged. Nutcase in Disguise is your vanilla hazelnut comfort cup—until it isn’t. This deceptively smooth brew starts off warm and inviting, like a candlelit self-care night, but ends with a lingering nutty edge that whispers, “I know what you said about me.”\nPerfect for sipping while reading receipts or plotting comebacks. It’s the kind of roast that gives you emotional support and side-eye.\u003c\/strong\u003e","brand":"Snark Roast Coffee","offers":[{"title":"Ground \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44516966465589,"sku":"VANHAZ-DRIP-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44516966498357,"sku":"VANHAZ-WHOLE-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44516966531125,"sku":"VANHAZ-DRIP-5LB-WHITE","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44516966563893,"sku":"VANHAZ-WHOLE-5LB-WHITE","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}]},{"product_id":"brewed-to-be-wild","title":"Brewed to Be Wild","description":"\u003cstrong\u003eThis one wears boots, breaks hearts, and definitely doesn’t RSVP. Brewed to Be Wild is a post-roast blend of medium and dark beans that brings cocoa, caramel, and a taste of trouble to every cup. Smooth and strong, it’s equal parts cozy campfire and cowboy chaos.\nWhether you’re saddling up for a busy day or just looking to escape responsibility for 20 minutes, this blend is your wild, roasty ride into caffeinated rebellion.\u003c\/strong\u003e","brand":"Snark Roast Coffee","offers":[{"title":"Ground \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44516966596661,"sku":"COWB-DRIP-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44516966629429,"sku":"COWB-WHOLE-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44516966662197,"sku":"COWB-DRIP-5LB-WHITE","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44516966694965,"sku":"COWB-WHOLE-5LB-WHITE","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}]},{"product_id":"sugar-coated-sabotage","title":"Sugar-Coated Sabotage","description":"\u003cstrong\u003eThick. Dark. Sweet. Dangerous. Sugar-Coated Sabotage is a velvety blend with notes of dark chocolate, molasses, and brown sugar—basically dessert with trust issues. It tastes like secrets, whispered plans, and the moment you realize someone smiled at you with venom behind their teeth.\nThis roast doesn’t play fair—but it does play favorites (and yes, you’re probably not one of them). Sip carefully. She bites.\u003c\/strong\u003e","brand":"Snark Roast Coffee","offers":[{"title":"Ground \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44516966957109,"sku":"BALI-DRIP-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44516966989877,"sku":"BALI-WHOLE-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44516967022645,"sku":"BALI-DRIP-5LB-WHITE","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44516967055413,"sku":"BALI-WHOLE-5LB-WHITE","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}]},{"product_id":"chaos-fuel","title":"Chaos Fuel","description":"\u003cstrong\u003eThis is not your “one cup and done” kind of roast. Chaos Fuel is a high-octane, full-bodied blend crafted for caffeine addicts, overachievers, and anyone currently spiraling. It’s bold, unapologetic, and specifically engineered to fuel chaotic to-do lists, passive-aggressive emails, and emotionally charged brainstorm sessions. With a deep roast profile and smooth finish, this blend doesn’t ask permission—it kicks down the door and starts monologuing.\nDrink it when you need to get sh*t done or blow something up (metaphorically, of course).\u003c\/strong\u003e","brand":"Snark Roast Coffee","offers":[{"title":"Ground \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44516967088181,"sku":"MAX-DRIP-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44516967120949,"sku":"MAX-WHOLE-12OZ-WHITE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44516967153717,"sku":"MAX-DRIP-5LB-WHITE","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 5 lb","offer_id":44516967186485,"sku":"MAX-WHOLE-5LB-WHITE","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}]}],"url":"https:\/\/www.snarkroastcoffee.com\/collections\/coffee.oembed","provider":"Snark Roast Coffee","version":"1.0","type":"link"}